Why Men are Dicks.

SO, I think I've mentioned I'm writing a book. Right now I'm in the editing process. The biggest part of the editing process has been to go over each chapter and wade through all the stories and just pick one or two. And then take those stories and really make them sing. Some parts are really great but they just don't quite fit. Here is one of them.

Jacquie's little brother, Tyler, was four years younger than we were. He was a cutie with the signature pubescent boy BO. I loved Tyler. He cracked Jac and I up and we loved to pick on him in a good-natured sort of way. One evening while I was over at Jacquie's, I was in the throws of a dramatic event involving a boy I had once dated. It hadn't ended all that well between us, mostly because we were dumb fourteen year olds. Well ok, mostly because I was a dumb fourteen year old. But we went to the same tiny school and he had started saying mean things about me even though we had broken up over a year ago. A year in teenage time is like a decade. I couldn't figure out what this kid's problem was. I collapsed on the couch next to Tyler and told him I probably wasn't long for this world. Tyler patted me on the head.
     "Why are men such dicks, Tyler?"
     "I don't know. What happened?"
I told him the whole sad story while Jacquie cooked in the kitchen. When I was done Tyler told me that my ex, while a total dick, was still just upset at how things had ended.
     "He wouldn't bother saying mean things if you hadn't been so important to him."
This cheered me up quite a lot. I hugged Tyler and went in the kitchen to help Jacquie. When I told her that Tyler had just explained why men were dicks, Jacquie was shocked and a little confused at exactly how he had answered such an age old question. She stormed in the living room to confront this act of brotherly kindness.
    "Tyler! Why are men such dicks?!" She yelled at him.
The look on Tyler's face was one of such betrayal and surprise. He stuttered for a minute before yelling at her, "YOU'RE A DICK!" and left the room.


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