One For the Road

Tuesday, Shaughn flies into Boston on Virgin Airlines. An airline, he was told, that only had really hot flight attendants. I hope they're all men.

I just finished cleaning out my car. It's a task I have never enjoyed partly because it necessitates a certain amount of flexibility that is unpleasant. It's not that I need to feel sexy 100% of the time, but it would be nice to avoid tasks that made me feel like a jackass. Plus, since we've had such a chilly summer, I'm not used to the heat. I kept dripping sweat all over the place making it hard to vacuum up the dirt. Not to mention all those pine needles from the x-mas tree last december are still showing themselves to be a b*** to vacuum. Half of them didn't even budge even when I put the whole opening of the hose on them, making the shopvac sound like it was going explode (ps the shopvac looks like it came out of the land of oz). That's the last time I put a x-mas tree inside my car.

When we were little, I don't remember who had to clean out the van before we left for roadtrips. But I remember the van always feeling very clean when we left. I would stake out my little corner and line it with coloring books and crayons, picture books, and a whole lot of stuff that I would never use. I was usually next to Jen in the bench in the back. At night if we were still driving we'd lie next to each other and fall asleep (ok, once instead of nicely falling asleep I pushed Jen off the bench and had to sleep on top of the luggage in the back. With no seatbelt I might add). Nate and Jacob would recline their chairs and twist themselves in every which way. One time Jacob decided to sleep in the aisle on our way to the Black Hills. We had just stopped at a gas station and I was just getting cozy when all of a sudden something didn't feel right. I couldn't quite place the feeling, I just remembered it was bad. Then it hit me, I was going to throw up. We had just started to pull away from the gas station. I looked at the little slider window next to me. It could barely deal with my hand sticking out of it, much less my face. I started to lean down to try it anyway, but it was too awkward. I got up to tell Mom but I couldn't say anything--it was too late. I stood up, leaned over and threw up.
"Agh!" yelled Jacob.
"Huog*&ft" I replied.
Dad stopped the van and Jacob sat up looking at his vomit covered feet in horror. Jennifer yelled, "Ew gross Missy!" over and over while Nate sat looking out the window, mumbling. I sat down and cried, although, in truth, I felt much better.

I really hope neither Shaughn nor I puke in my car. Although then, maybe the tree needles would get really offended and leave.

Comments

  1. Oh my, my whole body was shaking with laughter at this one! The visual images of the throw-up on Jacob's feet was my undoing, that and how Jen kept saying Ewww Mis and Nate just mumbling. I thought this was so very funny! I can't wait to see you this next week, even if you throw-up!
    ps. could you try to not throw-up on my feet, thanks!
    love you!

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  2. I'm glad you're coming home!! The 29th...that weekend...can I steal you for a while...I'll have presents :) And I've thrown up in the car so many times...I was the car sick one. And once I knowingly rolled the electirc window up on my brother's arm then claimed naieve innocence about what buttons controlled the windows. I got off scott free and it is my only redeeming memory of all the years I was tormented as a little sister. I got him with the window!! Ha!

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  3. If I know tree needles, they won't loosen up and come out, they'll just join forces with the throw up and become really smelly tree needles... My advice? At the first hint of something uncomfortable?? stop the car and get out for a bit of a walk..

    AND...if you can't remember who cleaned something, its very likely that your mom did it. There is an evil spirit out there that blinds children to their mother's cleaning efforts so that she remains unknown and unappreciated....(bitter? me? I'm not bitter!!)

    The reality is that if a child cleans something, everybody hears about it one way or another!!! (NO, I am NOT bitter...just...you know.....being honest.)

    K, well, Miss heard me laughing outloud...another testimony to her great skill at capturing the humor of real life. You make me smile, daughter of mine!!

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  5. haha, laughing out loud here too. also laughing at mom's comment, it reminded me of this morning when:
    1. Fiona told me I should put her clean clothes in her dresser instead of leaving them on the couch. (I felt wrath in my heart and therefore couldn't come up with any clever or appropriate responses.)
    and 2. when I asked paul if he wanted a medal for loading the dishwasher last night and starting it.

    me oh my... can't wait to have you back mis. :)

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